I’m back and today I wrote a letter to Lola. Her birthday letter. A few months belated.
You are nine years old. You’ve actually been nine for almost three months now. How did nine years and almost three months fly by so quickly? We were watching some of your baby/toddler videos the other day and it felt like you were that age just yesterday. I think about the moment I first held you in my arms and my life was changed right in that very second. I then felt as if the world had stopped everywhere else and everything was happening right in front of me. There was nothing else but you. And now I just can not believe that was nine whole years ago. Nine years since you’ve changed my life and my heart forever. Nine years since I’ve learned a whole new side of me and found out about a huge extra room in my heart that I had now idea existed. Nine years since I met this amazing baby girl who was more than ready to get out and start living so passionately. I love you in a way that you will only understand when you have your own babies. I can’t go to bed every night if I don’t re-tuck you in and make sure you are still cozy. I wake up eager to see your sleepy face and your messy hair and ready to hear your voice saying “good morning Mamma”.
Life has been busy. So very busy and sometimes I feel like I don’t get to savor each moment like I actually want to. I want to stop the clock and be able to keep you this little for longer. This was your last single digit birthday. This won’t happen again so I better slow down. I promise I am, because I know the clock won’t and I want to be able to remember moments vividly and not like vague memories. I want to live in the present and stop rushing. I want moments like the ones we had last night a lot more often. I want them on a daily basis. Thank you for opening my eyes. I love you so so much and I know how much you love me.
Last night (on Thursday) I laid down with you and we cuddled until we were deep asleep. We got to talk and laugh and stayed up later than usual because there was no school the next day and we were just having so much fun together. I’m so happy for that moment. It was just so perfect for us. We needed it. We barely ever get one on one time at home and we both really enjoyed every second of it. You told me “Mamma, this is exactly what home feels to me”. It filled my heart but also broke it in a way because I know that you and I haven’t had many of those moment lately and nothing I want more for you than to feel that way because that’s the feeling of happiness. I felt that very way too and I will make sure we get to spend a lot more one on one moments together because we both deserve it.
I wanted to write down some of your favorites now that you are nine.
Favorite color: Orange
Favorite Food: Mac and Cheese, Baby Ravioles, Sushi
Favorite things to do: Unicycling. You ride your blue unicycle to and from school every day, and when we get home you always eat something and ask to go back out o you can keep unicycling. You are so happy when you ride it!
You also love to make dance choreographies, Rock Climbing and Sewing. Every time I pick you up from sewing you have the biggest smile on your face and you tell me all about it without me having to ask.
You love to read, you love swimming, you LOVE playdates
Favorite singers: Taylor Swift & One Direction
You love your friends so much and they love you too!
Favorite desert: Homemade chocolate covered strawberries.
You adore your 3rd grade teacher
I love you so much, Lolita. I’m so happy to be your Mom. Thank you for loving me and teaching me so much every day.
Continue the circle with the lovely Emma Wood.